When the Helpers Hurt: Why Mental Health Advocates Are Often Struggling Too
By someone who sees you, hears you, and stands with you.
There’s something powerful about being the one others turn to.
Maybe you’re the person who encourages coworkers to take mental health days.
Maybe you’re the one who shares resources, checks in, and reminds others to drink water, breathe deep, and get some fresh air.
Maybe you’re the calm voice on the radio, the go-to for advice, or the “tough one” who always seems to have it together.
But here’s a truth we don’t say enough:
Sometimes the biggest advocates for mental wellness are struggling the most themselves.
Let’s talk about it.
🎧 The Quiet Weight of Being “The Strong One”
For 911 dispatchers and other emergency personnel, emotional resilience is part of the job. But many of us—especially those who promote wellness—aren’t just doing the job. We’re holding space for everyone else too.
We listen to trauma.
We absorb pain.
We hide our own stuff so we can support others.
And over time, that adds up.
Mental health supporters often feel pressure to:
Be “okay” all the time
Stay composed in front of others
Keep showing up, no matter what
Practice what they preach—even when it’s hard
That pressure can lead to silent suffering. Because admitting we’re not okay feels like a betrayal of the image we’ve created.
But guess what?
You can advocate for mental health and still need help.
You can support others and still feel empty.
You can know all the right things to do and still struggle to do them.
🧠 Why Helpers Struggle (Even When They Know Better)
Here’s what makes this especially tricky:
1.
Compassion Fatigue
Caring deeply for others in crisis eventually depletes your own reserves. The more you give, the more it takes to refill.
2.
Survivor’s Guilt
We help others through trauma, but feel guilty when our own pain doesn’t seem “bad enough” to warrant help.
3.
Hyper-Awareness
Knowing too much about stress, anxiety, and trauma can sometimes make it harder to ignore the signs in ourselves.
4.
Fear of Losing Credibility
We worry others will trust us less if they know we’re struggling. So we say “I’m fine” when we’re anything but.
🤝 You Don’t Have to Be a Hero to Be a Healer
Let’s be very clear:
Needing help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
Struggling with mental health doesn’t disqualify you from supporting others.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s survival.
There is space for your voice and your vulnerability. You don’t have to wear the mask every shift.
💬 What Can We Do About It?
If you’re one of the helpers—whether you’re a dispatcher, peer support lead, or the unofficial therapist of your crew—here’s how to care for yourself while caring for others:
✔ Be honest with one person.
Just one. A coworker. A friend. A peer support partner. You don’t have to tell everyone, but don’t isolate yourself.
✔ Practice what you preach—but gently.
You tell others to take breaks? Take yours. You remind others to reach out? Reach out yourself.
✔ Normalize struggle in leadership roles.
Being the one in charge doesn’t mean being immune to stress. Normalize therapy. Normalize down days. Normalize being real.
✔ Step away if needed.
If you’re burned out, overextended, or emotionally depleted, it’s okay to rest. You’ve earned it. You deserve it.
🧡 If You’re Reading This and You’re Tired…
Here’s what I want you to hear today:
You are not alone.
You are not a fraud.
You are not failing.
You are a living, breathing example of what it means to fight for wellness—even when it’s messy, imperfect, and hard.
You are not expected to carry others without someone carrying you.
Let yourself be held, too.
Final Thought: Your Pain Doesn’t Cancel Your Purpose
You can still help others while healing.
You can still make a difference without being “fully fixed.”
You are not less effective because you’re struggling—you are more empathetic, more grounded, more real.
Let’s stop pretending the helpers are invincible.
Let’s be brave enough to be honest—and kind enough to believe others when they are.
If this blog resonates with you, please share it with someone else who always “seems strong.” They might be carrying more than you know.